Battle Song
by Ardikani4
Summary: Linnea McFarland was visiting her old friend Javier Esposito in New York following her retirement, just saying goodbye before she returned home. Little did she know what awaited her on that fateful trip... Esposito/OC
1. To Say Goodbye

It was a calm day on the streets of New York City, a rarity for the legendary Big Apple of the United States. The sun was shining gently, its warming rays interrupted from time to time by fluffy white clouds that were swiftly scudding across the clear sky. New Yorkers were out in force on the streets, taking a moment to walk through the massive city and enjoy the good weather they were having.

One of the outsiders amongst them was particularly enjoying herself, but she had good reason. She had just retired from the Army, after 24 years of active federal service. Her career had taken her just about everywhere: Germany, Italy, Korea, Afghanistan, Iraq, Kosovo…just to name a few. Now she was spending a little time in New York, visiting a few friends before she returned home to her ranch in Montana to take over for her parents, who were both getting a little too old to care for the ranch.

_Ahh Stormwynd…how I miss you so…_ She thought, turning her face to the sun and enjoying the light breeze that was playing through her short-cut blonde hair. The wail of a nearby siren turned her attention to another, more pressing matter: how she was going to say goodbye…to him.

She felt a slight twinge of regret flicker through her at how long it had been since they had even seen one another, but they had kept in touch, through text, email, and the occasional phone call on a birthday or Christmas. Feeling her sorrow starting to build, she stepped out of the mainstream foot traffic, pausing at the edge of a bridge as she leaned on the railing and stared out over the water.

_Javi…finding you, even in this place, is easy. Finding the words that I know I need to say…now that is going to be very, very difficult._ She thought, her slate gray eyes narrowing slightly as the sun reflected off of the water and flashed in her eyes. Sighing softly, she put the matter out of mind, rejoining the human rat race as she headed into the city determinedly. She was going to find him, and just hope that the words she needed would find a way to her when she needed them.

She moved with catlike grace and nearly unbelievable speed, passing people right and left as she turned, then turned again, unerringly making her way to her destination. Once she arrived, however, she hesitated, wondering if she really, _really_ needed to go inside. Then she shook off her concerns, snarling at herself under her breath for her cowardice, then she walked right up the steps and opened the door, walking into the building as though she belonged there.

She stood in the front lobby of the New York Police Department's 12th Precinct, and she hesitated for only a moment before approaching the desk.

"Detective Esposito? Javier Esposito? Should be a Homicide Detective, I believe." She said to the bored looking officer at the front desk. He jerked a hand towards a set of elevators and mumbled which floor, and she thanked him before heading that way. She stepped boldly into the elevator once it arrived, punching the button for the correct floor, then the door closed.

As the elevator slowly rose, she felt her heart hammering in her chest, her hands growing clammy at the thought of being able to see him again, after so long. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves as the elevator stopped at the correct floor and the door opened.

Stepping out, she paused for just a moment, her gray eyes searching the floor quickly, then she spotted him. Her instinct was to stay out of sight and observe for a moment, but he had his back to her, so her mind said _screw it, just go._ So she did. She moved with timeless grace, her strides so liquid-smooth that every officer stopped in their tracks to watch her as she approached her target. He was talking to two men and a woman, and all three went silent to stare at her as she halted about five feet behind him and waited.

She could tell that he was confused by their sudden silence, and his head turned just enough that he caught sight of her from the corner of his eye. Instantly he froze, turning his head a little more to get a better look at her before he rose to his feet and pivoted to face her. They stared at one another, his mahogany brown eyes staring into her slate gray gaze, before she smiled softly and spoke quietly.

"Hello, Javi. Been awhile, hasn't it?" His head snapped up at her voice, the tone light and lilting as he took a half step forward, and she saw his disbelief before he replied.

"Linnea?"

* * *

**A/N: So...it's been awhile for this story. I know. Things got busy, weird, overwhelming...the list goes on and on and on...but as you can see, I am FINALLY back in business with this one. So yay for that! :)**

**As you can see, much like what happened with The Wanderer and Dark and Stormy Night Challenge, Battle Song is undergoing a re-write. I am still working diligently on The Wanderer but I've had several fun ideas pop into my head for Battle Song lately...so here you go! I'm starting on the re-write!**

**Right now, I doubt that updates for Battle Song**** will be as frequent as they have been for The Wanderer but I guess we'll see on that. What I'm hoping for is to get the muse going on this story good enough that I will be able to concurrently run the thread for it while I continue my work on The Wanderer, but again, we'll just have to see about that.**

**As always, love if you will, hate if you must. I will take anything that you care to dispense.**

**Until we meet again...**

**Kani**


	2. One Rash Decision

Linnea grinned in spite of herself at Javier's disbelieving tone.

"What? Don't think it is really me? Let me prove it, then…" Before Esposito could blink, she was right in his face, her incisors flashing in a stunning smile before she backed away, then opened one of her hands.

The detective's tie was neatly coiled in the palm of Linnea's hand, several awestruck witnesses murmuring amongst themselves at the woman's astounding speed and her nerve.

"What was it you used to say, Javi? All the strength in the world won't do you any good, not without the speed to back it up?" With that said, she stepped to the detective again, returning his tie when he held out a hand. Then to the surprise of everyone present, he pulled her into a tight hug, a broad grin on his face.

"Linnea, God, where have you been? It's been years since I saw you last." Linnea's shit-eating grin softened into a gentle smile as she pressed her cheek to his powerful chest and hugged him back just as tightly.

"Here, there. Everywhere. You know me, Javi. Wandering is in my blood and battle is in my soul. Picked up a few more scars since I saw you last but then again, trouble has always followed me like the night follows the day. And how have you been, dear one?" She released him and stepped back, looking into his eyes as he stared right back at her.

"The war never really ended for me, Linnea. I just found myself on a new front with different rules and new battle lines." She heard the sadness in his voice, and upon studying him a little more closely, she quickly identified the aching truth in his eyes.

"The war never ends, Javi. Not for the living. Only the dead know the end of war, and the nightmares that plague us. But enough on that…our memories are enough to remember those times." She turned her piercing gray eyes to the three behind Javier and studied them curiously.

"I apologize, I did not mean to intrude. I am Linnea McFarland, an old friend of Javi's. How do you do?" Her voice snapped them all to attention, and they studied her critically before the biggest of the three stepped forward to face her.

He was tall, broad-shouldered with well-kept but thick dark hair and piercing dark blue eyes. He studied her with the gaze of a predator gauging its prey, but Linnea could tell he wasn't a cop. He was slightly intimidating by way of size but handsome, and she could see that underneath it all he had a good heart and a gentle soul.

"It is a pleasure to finally be able to meet the old Army friend that Esposito has told us so much about. The honor is mine, miss Linnea. I am Richard Castle, but please, call me Rick." His voice was deep and warm, and he extended a massive hand for Linnea to shake. She took it immediately, noting that his grip was strong but not overwhelming.

_A man well aware of his strength, and of the need to control it. Impressive._ She thought, then she realized that his name rang a bell somewhere deep in her mind. She took a moment to stare into his eyes, and then it clicked.

"Richard Castle…Derrick Storm, Nikki Heat. And if that is true, then the honor is mine, sir. Several of your novels hold a place in my collection of books back home. You are quite a skilled writer…it takes a special kind of person to weave a world in words." Instantly the man's eyes brightened, and she knew that her deduction had been correct. Still beaming, he stepped back, and Linnea's eyes went to the next in line, a white male with brown hair and the lightest blue eyes. He was of average height but lean, and he extended a hand just as Castle had.

"Kevin Ryan, Esposito's partner and the brains of the outfit. It's an honor, Linnea. Javi speaks of you very fondly." His grip was strong but not as much as Castle's had been, and she nodded her head and murmured some soft words to him before he let go and stepped back. Then her gaze went to the last of the three, and she instantly found herself on the defensive.

The woman was shorter than Rick but solidly built, with long dark brown hair and medium toned brown eyes. But it was her eyes that made Linnea's nostrils flare and her instincts awaken. They were sharp, hard, critical, everything that the retired soldier remembered from her Army years. They were the eyes of a veteran of years of war and death and loss. They were what Linnea knew hers had been, the last few years of her career.

_This woman has seen and known hell, she has lost good friends and been lost once or twice herself. She is a warrior…a fighter. This woman is dangerous, and everyone here knows it._ Linnea thought as the female detective continued scrutinizing her, then finally, she spoke.

"So…are you really everything that Esposito described you as? Or was he just leading us on?" Her tone made Linnea flinch, and in spite of herself, her gray eyes narrowed and hardened, and instantly, Esposito moved.

"Linnea, easy! Easy, that's just how Kate is. Don't mind her, it's nothing against you. Hey, hey! Look at me! Linnea, look at me!" Her view of the woman, Kate, was blocked by the Hispanic detective's tall frame and solid bulk, and she found herself staring into mahogany eyes that were filled with concern and a slight amount of anger. But the anger was not directed at her, she knew. Javier was more concerned with her temper, which even after all the years they had known one another, hadn't cooled in the slightest. But what Javier didn't know was that though her temper hadn't changed, she had. And there was nothing to fear from her anymore.

"No need to fear, Javi. I am not…what you remember. That Linnea went into the deserts of Africa back a few years ago, and she didn't come back. Things change, people change. I guess…I guess I was just lucky to come back at all." Her tone was quiet and contemplative, and his eyes narrowed slightly before widening. He got it, and she knew it.

"You see, Javi…that's how I knew it was time for me to go. All it takes is one rash decision to save lives…or to end them. I lost a lot of soldiers that tour, a lot more than I should have. I was never held accountable for their loss…I was never blamed. But I was the one that sent them there. And I walked away, and they didn't." Still deep in contemplation, Linnea scratched at one of her arms, drawing Javier's attention. She didn't realize what she had done until he gently took her hand and raised it, bringing her arm into the light and revealing an awful set of scars that instantly made his eyes shoot back to hers. She didn't look away, knowing exactly what was running through his mind. All she did was shrug and grin slightly, then she spoke.

"One rash decision…ironically enough, the one that caused those scars saved the lives of a dozen soldiers. I didn't try and kill myself, because I know that's what you're thinking. I jumped out of a helicopter and landed on a group of guys that were trying to break into an outpost that I had been sent to reinforce. It turned into a knife fight…one I very nearly lost. These aren't the only scars I came out of it with, but they're the most prominent." Gently removing her hand from his, Linnea met his gaze and shrugged again.

"One rash decision, Javi. Laying in the hospital, I knew it was time to hang up my rifle. I was on year twenty for my active federal service. My body was still strong but my scars were starting to hurt. I could keep up with my young soldiers and I could lead them, but I knew the next time I went to war, I wasn't coming home. I stayed back in the States when I recovered, spent some time training the new kids in basic and giving lectures and such. It was at year twenty-two that I knew I wasn't suited for the desk jockey crap. Retirement at year twenty-four, as of one week ago. And here I am. Was in the Big Apple for some final paperwork shenanigans…figured I'd track you down before I went home. Got a ranch and my horses waiting for me. About time I found my peace, eh?" Linnea studied the look in his eyes, feeling rather like an outsider as she processed everything she saw in his gaze. A slight cough from behind him broke the spell, and she raised her gray eyes to the gaze of Rick Castle.

"So Esposito wasn't kidding. You're everything he said you were." The writer said, studying her with a new sort of respect in his gaze as she shrugged a shoulder.

"Like I said, rash decisions. Plenty of mine got me hurt, plenty of other soldiers died trying to be like me. Probably better that I finally retired. Maybe some of those dumb young kids will actually survive now. Soldiers loved following me but a lot of 'em fell trying to be like me. Guess that's my luck and my curse…I can be stupid all day long and get away with it, but others can't." Turning her gaze back to Javier, she bowed her head slightly, then she turned and headed for the elevator.

"Linnea, wait!" She halted at Esposito's call, turning halfway to eye him as he stepped towards her.

"Fear not, Javi. I'll be around for awhile. Call me cynical, but I have a feeling you are about to get very, very busy. I think it would be better if I'm not underfoot for the rest of the day." Before he could reply, phones started ringing all over the office, and the detective had no choice but to answer one. He was only on the line for about thirty seconds, but by the time he hung up and raised his gaze, Linnea was gone.

"Goddamn, she moves fast." Javier heard Ryan mutter from behind him, and the Hispanic detective stared at where she had last been before he replied.

"Yeah, she does, bro. C'mon, let's get started on this mess."

* * *

**A/N: Bit of an oddball of a chapter...but I kinda like it. Don't want Linnea to seem too normal. XD That and I actually liked how the tone between Beckett and Linnea came through. I wanted one of them to be suspicious of her. Why not Beckett?**

**Anywho! Long time no update, so here's something at least. Hopefully I'll have something else sooner rather than later.**

**As always, love if you will, hate if you must. I will take anything that you care to dispense.**

**Until we meet again...**

**Kani**


	3. You Have Changed

Linnea's sudden visit had startled Javier far more than he let on. It had been _years_ since he saw the woman, and suddenly, she just appeared, right in the middle of the 12th. She was still the same as he remembered, almost as tall as he was but lean and athletic. Same piercing slate gray eyes, short blonde hair. But her hair was longer than he last remembered, reaching to just beyond her shoulders. That and her scars…seeing the ones on her arm had filled him with a cold dread. Then he berated himself, angry that he had immediately jumped to the conclusion that she had inflicted the injuries herself.

_She's always been crazy strong, physically, mentally. Nothing could break her. Nothing._ But even as he thought it, he knew it was a lie. Something had broken her once…someone had broken her. He had broken her. Guilt flared up deep within his chest when he remembered the look in her eyes, when he had ended his time in the military and walked away. Leaving the military was easy…leaving her? It was the hardest thing he'd ever done.

They'd been together since day one, him and Linnea. They went to basic together, their time in their individual job training the only time they spent apart in the six years he had been in. She was military intelligence, he was a sniper. Somehow, the fates had played a part in keeping them together during his full career. He was often on overwatch on the missions she worked. More than once he pulled the trigger to save her life, and she knew it.

Then Javier remembered the day he had not pulled the trigger fast enough, a day he remembered with shame and regret. Linnea had nearly died…and it had been his fault…

_He was in his nest, just like usual. He had eyes on nearly the whole damn city, he was set so well. There were two more snipers on the other side, at different angles to him and to each other, so that they had almost 360 degree coverage of the city. Linnea had a solid security escort, two Bradleys full of battle-hardened soldiers whose only mission was protecting her and her HMMVV. Four more Bradleys were already in the city, dismounts on the ground clearing through buildings as Linnea did her thing, her voice calm and cool on the radio as she sent different activity reports to the guys on the ground and higher. Behind her, two Mechanized Infantry platoons were rolling in, and behind them, a platoon of Abrams sat ready to bring the pain if something went wrong. All in all, the U.S. military was well set to take the city and put every single enemy there into the ground._

_As the dismounts kept kicking in doors, Javier kept watching, a little uneasy with how smoothly the operation was going. _Something isn't right here…_ He remembered thinking. Then it happened._

_Across the city, men started pouring out of buildings and racing towards the U.S. forces, waves of them. They were armed and ready to spill American blood. Instantly the three snipers went to work, picking them off as fast as they could as Linnea's two escorts moved in front of her and started firing. The dismounts got hit hard but were fighting well, and both of the Infantry platoons charged forward to assist. Javier's attention was on the fighting, and not Linnea. It was only when he heard her voice over the radio that he turned his attention back to her. What he saw stopped his heart._

_Some of the insurgents had managed to get by Linnea's Brads, and she had been forced to dismount her HMMVV and destroy it. Standard protocol, if she was being overrun. Her and her two soldiers were fighting back, having fallen back as her HMMVV burned brightly. He watched as she ordered her soldiers back, sending them running for the Abrams in the distance as she stood alone, firing her M4 right into the faces of the men charging her._

_Javier turned his scope to her assailants, putting one in his sights and pulling the trigger. The man dropped, and he reloaded before finding another target and pulling the trigger again. Over and over, Javier fired, until he didn't see any more. He swept the area, looking for Linnea, then he found her. She was running for the Abrams as well, the massive tanks moving to advance when they saw the trouble she and her soldiers had encountered._

_Javier followed her through his scope, not looking away until he was sure she was safe. Then she started taking fire again, and he swept his scope back to the battlefield, searching for her assailant. It took a few sweeps but he found him, perched in a third story window. Javier got him in his sights, then hesitated. He couldn't remember why he didn't just pull the trigger immediately, but he clearly remembered that the man got off one more shot before he fired. His hesitation cost Linnea dearly._

_The call came over the radio about thirty seconds later. MEDEVAC request. Soldier down. Female soldier, urgent surgical. Gunshot to the neck. Javier felt his blood freeze. Linnea was the only female in that section. He requested permission to leave his post. Denied. He watched the Blackhawk come in through his scope, saw all the blood as she was swiftly loaded in the bird and flown away. It was the longest night of his life, as he stayed on watch over the city. Again and again, he requested permission to leave. Denied every time. They told him he'd be relieved in the morning. He remembered thinking, _Morning could be too late._ But they didn't care. He had to stay._

Jerking himself back to the present, Javier breathed hard, lowering his head to his desk. He shut out the images of how Linnea had looked in the hospital, hooked up to tubes and machines as a ventilator helped her to breathe. The bullet had missed her jugular but it had cut through her windpipe. _My fault._

"Bro? You all right?" Came the concerned voice of Kevin Ryan. Javier raised his eyes to his partner's, seeing the uneasiness in his light blue eyes. He forced himself to nod, looked away so that Ryan wouldn't see the lie.

"Yeah bro. Just tired. Been a long day." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ryan's eyes narrow but the other detective simply nodded.

"Yeah, no kidding. Your friend wasn't kidding. Today was hell. At least we're done for the day. You wanna get a beer on the way home?" Javier got to his feet and winced as his feet screamed obscenities at him, shaking his head as he turned and grabbed his coat.

"Nah, thanks. I think home and food and bed sound just fine. See you tomorrow, bro." They bumped fists, and Javier turned and headed for the elevator. He let his mind wander as he went downstairs, outside and to his car, on auto pilot as he drove to his apartment.

Entering his home, he looked around, taking comfort in the warmth and familiarity of his pad as he dropped his coat on the couch and headed for the kitchen. He was up to his elbows in the ingredients for his special carne asada tacos when his phone buzzed. Wiping his hands with a towel before throwing it over his shoulder, he picked up his phone and checked it.

_Want some company?_ Javier smirked. He knew better than to reply, simply waiting until the knock came at his door. The smirk turned to a grin when he went and answered it, gray eyes staring into his as Linnea grinned at him.

"I wasn't even going to bother with a reply. I know you too well." He said as she calmly came by him, a plastic bag slung over her shoulder casually as he kicked the door shut and headed back to the kitchen.

"Is that your famous carne asada tacos I smell?" She asked, her eyes lighting up when he nodded.

"I figured you might pay me a visit. Whatcha got there?" Javier asked curiously, and she grinned widely before following him into the kitchen.

"Thought you'd never ask. I'm going to need half of that stove. And a cutting board." Linnea swiftly unpacked the bag, throwing it aside as Javier walked up behind her and looked over her shoulder. Instantly he smiled.

"Ahh, that can't possibly be ingredients for your dad's famous chili, could it?" He asked teasingly as she chuckled heartily.

"What else goes good with your tacos? Of course it's for chili. Now give me a little space so I don't trip over you." Javier laughed when she planted an elbow in his ribs, nudging him back to his half of the kitchen as she got to work.

About forty minutes later, the tacos were ready, so Javier put them in the oven to keep them warm as Linnea's chili simmered. He went and sprawled out on the couch, leaning his head over the back to watch her as she stirred the chili calmly.

Feeling his gaze, she raised her eyes, smiling slightly when she saw how he was sitting. They stared at each other for a little while, then she spoke.

"How long has it been, Javi?" The detective's eyes flickered, unsure of exactly what she meant as she turned her gaze back to the chili. Then it clicked in his mind.

"Too long, Linnea. But for the sake of being exact…we haven't seen each other in five years. Not including texts and phone calls on the birthdays and holidays, and the occasional letters when you were overseas." His tone was musing, and he closed his eyes, unaware that she had turned her eyes back to him and was studying him again.

"You've changed." Her voice was quiet and held nothing accusing or judgmental in the tone, but his eyes snapped open nonetheless. He met her gaze, wondering at what she was thinking.

"So have you." He replied, seeing something flicker through her eyes before she dropped her gaze to the pan in front of her again. She shrugged, giving a sort of sad half-smile before looking at him again, almost as though she was trying to convince herself of something.

"I…had good reason, Javi. A lot of soldiers died because of me, because they followed me. They followed me to places I shouldn't have taken them. I was crazy enough or lucky enough or stupid enough to get away with it, but not them. They paid dearly for my arrogance. I had to change. For their sake." Her gaze was troubled as she dropped it back to the chili, stirring it without thought as Javier rose and walked back into the kitchen.

The big Hispanic detective paused behind her, hesitating for just a moment before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around her gently. She stiffened for just a moment before relaxing, allowing him to comfort her as they both remembered who they had once been, and mourned what they had lost.

* * *

**A/N: Another oddball. I know. And I know I'm probably portraying Linnea as a stalker-ish type person...really she's not. Javier is the only reason she's in New York. In my mind, it would make sense that she's following him around. But meh...maybe I'm a stalker too and don't know it. lol**

**To my readers and reviewers and followers, thank you for your readership! And to phnxgrl, thank you for pointing that out! I corrected it to say 'Rick' instead.**

**theicemenace: Hey Sandy! Been awhile! And you didn't exactly 'miss' this one...I started to do the rewrite back in December. It never went very far during its original writing. I stalled pretty fast and it has just been sitting dormant for a while. Been meaning to get cracking on this one since I finished off a couple of my other stories but I was in California for training for all of February and didn't have access to a computer. And I don't know about Linnea becoming a cop...guess I'll see where the plot bunnies lead me. And I haven't been following the show too closely (no TV) so I watched a few of the more recent episodes last night. Timeline for this would work nicely for right now in the show, so yes, this is at the current part of the show. ^.^**

**As always, love if you will, hate if you must. I will take anything that you care to dispense.**

**Until we meet again...**

**Kani**


	4. Left Behind

"You said WHAT?" Linnea yelped, staring at Javier in awe and more than a little disbelief. He nodded sheepishly, then she threw her head back and roared with laughter.

Dinner had been relaxing, and rather entertaining. Linnea had watched in amusement as Javier eagerly wolfed down half a bowl of her dad's famous chili, calmly put the bowl down…then bolted for the fridge. He spent the next ten minutes gulping down milk straight from the carton and glaring daggers at her as she nonchalantly ate an entire bowl, licked her lips, then filled another and proceeded to take it down without blinking.

"You didn't say you were making it EXACTLY like your dad likes to make his chili." Javier had snarled at her, sweat dripping down from his brow as tears threatened to fall from his eyes at the heat.

"I did say it was my dad's FAMOUS chili though. You must remember the difference between the recipes." Linnea had replied, staring at the smarting detective innocently as he glared at her again before dunking his head in the sink, which he had filled with bitterly cold tap water that he made colder by throwing ice in.

The retired soldier and the detective were now situated in the living room, Javier's powerful frame stretched out on the couch as Linnea sprawled comfortably on the floor with some pillows bracing her head and neck. He watched in bemusement as she rolled around on the floor with her arms around her gut and bellowed with laughter, then she finally calmed enough to look at him again.

"What can I say? I was feeling…hell, I don't even know what I was feeling. I guess I just figured we were already in the shit and that it couldn't get much worse. I was wrong. If Beckett and Castle hadn't come crashing in, Lockwood and his boys would have shot out one of Ryan's knees. And it would have been my fault, for being such a smartass." The Hispanic detective's mahogany eyes were filled with regret, and Linnea studied him from the floor, staring at him upside down as her gray eyes flickered and softened.

"Hey, they didn't. That's the important thing. Bad guys died and you two came out alright. That's a win in my book." Javier looked at her, his eyes dark with emotion as she watched him calmly, then spoke again.

"You and I, we come from a different breed of people. You know that. Soldiers, we're different, when we rejoin the 'real' world. We see things differently, we act different. We _are_ different. What we've experienced, it sets us apart. Even cops don't understand, not unless they're like you. Even you and I see the world in a different light…I see it from the eyes of the enemy, trying to find the holes in our defenses before they do. You see it from the eyes of a sniper, always looking for that lookout spot, that perfect place for the perfect shot. You know how to box up your emotions, keep them separate from your rational side so that you can do what has to be done. And I know, for a _fact,_ that you know how to box up that dark, evil, bad shit that you've done, lock it up tight, and throw away the key. Then you bury it, somewhere deep in your soul where hopefully, nothing will ever disturb it. So why haven't you done the same with your regrets? Box 'em up, get rid of it. Don't let it weigh you down, big guy. Life's too short to be holding on to the small things, to the things that don't matter. Keep your eye on the target, whatever that may be to you. Your greatest hopes, your most precious memories…whatever. Keep looking forward, not back. The past is the past…nothing we can do _today_ or _tomorrow_ will ever change it. You know that." They studied each other, mahogany to slate gray, for what felt like forever, the Javier finally spoke.

"What if…what if something we did now…could change something made in the past?" Perplexed by the question, and the thousands of implications it held, Linnea rolled onto her stomach, raising her head and blinking at him in confusion as his eyes slowly closed and the tension in his frame melted away.

"In all honesty, your question is far too broad, but I suppose an acceptable answer would be that we couldn't. We can't change the past, Javi…we can only ensure we don't make the same mistake in the future." Still with his eyes closed, Javier hummed deep in his chest as the retired soldier still stared at him in bewilderment. Then he chuckled softly.

"You and your exactness…just another aspect of your insanity that I have missed. But you gave me the answer I was looking for…by remembering the past, we can change the future, if only by not making the same mistake again." He didn't see her eyes narrow at his words, nor did he see her slowly push herself into a crouch. He didn't hear her rise to her feet and cross the room. He had no idea she had moved until she rapped her knuckles lightly on his forehead, and his eyes snapped open as he jolted in shock.

There she stood, leaning her forearms on the arm of the couch behind his head as she stared at him, her eyes piercing his, then she canted her head to the side and studied him. When she spoke, her voice was low and quiet, rumbling from deep within her chest.

"To what are you referring, Javi? You have never been a man to make mistakes. You're a sniper…snipers don't make mistakes. When they do, they die. So unless I'm talking to a ghost…you didn't make a mistake. You made a decision, one that you regret. So what is it?" Linnea saw the muscles tighten in his jaw, saw the flicker of uncertainty in his eyes, watched the tension that rippled through every muscle in his brawny, powerful frame as he tried to decide what he should, and shouldn't, tell her. She saw all this, without really seeing it at all. She was more focused on his eyes and what she saw there.

_His eyes have always been so telling_, she thought, watching closely as a thousand separate thoughts and emotions raced through his eyes, then he swallowed, and finally spoke.

"I was referring to…that day when…when I…" He choked, halted, his eyes closing as a harsh breath left his chest and he tried to gather his thoughts.

"The day when you…" Linnea prompted him, nearly flinching when Javier's eyes shot open and fixed on hers with an intensity she hadn't seen in years.

_No…it can't be…_ She thought, feeling her heart jump as his gaze calmed suddenly and he smiled in the strangest way before he finished what he had been struggling to say.

"The day I regret making the decision I made. The day I said goodbye and turned my back on the Army. The day when I walked away and left you behind."

* * *

**A/N: Lot of dialogue in this one. Yuck. I try to avoid long stretches of blab but plot bunnies be damned, this is what they threw me.**

**Sorry. Been a long day and I'm tired and a little cranky. Couple of my guys are being type A jackasses right now. Usually best solved with a swift kick to the junk and a knee to the face but I'd get in a lot of trouble for that. So...paperwork it is. -.-**

**To phnxgrl and theicemenace, thank you both for the reviews! ^.^ And Sandy, I don't know. I'm not good with kids...lol. Guess this chapter might be the prelude to something fun. XD**

**As always, love if you will, hate if you must. I will take anything that you care to dispense.**

**Until we meet again...**

**Kani**


	5. Your Move

Linnea and Javier stared at each other, slate gray to mahogany, for what felt like forever, then she slowly straightened, bracing her hands on the arm of the couch as she maintained eye contact with the Hispanic detective.

_So he does regret walking away…but does he mean from the Army, or from me?_ Linnea wondered, studying her friend closely. Deep mahogany eyes were still locked on hers, dark and painfully honest. He was waiting for her response, of that, she was certain.

_But what is it he is expecting? Another question, requesting he clarify his statement? Or is he expecting me to jump to the conclusion that his regret lies in walking away from me as his friend…or is he looking for something…more?_ Blinking slowly, she allowed her eyes to remain half-closed as she looked at him thoughtfully. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore, allowing his eyes to drift away from hers for a moment as he took in a deep breath before letting it out, hard.

"Please, Lin, say _something_." She smiled in spite of herself, feeling warmth pooling in her chest at his use of her nickname, the one she allowed only him to call her. She chuckled softly, bringing his gaze to hers again as she smiled at him affectionately before she spoke.

"Javi, you know me. I over-analyze everything. I was trying to figure out exactly what you were referring to, but I think I got it." Spinning neatly on her toes, Linnea dropped onto her haunches in front of the couch, letting her head drop onto Javier's stomach with a light _thump_ that knocked the wind out of him. She rested her back against the couch, staring at the ceiling as he huffed indignantly, regaining his breath quickly as she smirked slightly.

Linnea twitched slightly as he lifted a hand, gently running it through her thick blonde hair and straightening it as she watched him from the corner of her eye. She could see that his dark eyes were locked on her face, so she contented herself with staring right back at him.

_I made my move. Next is his. Good old chess…what would I do without you…_ She thought, rather amused as Javier tried to think through what she could possibly be thinking.

"Good luck with trying to figure me out, Javi. All that's in this thick skull of mine is a bunch of plastic wrap and silly string. Have fun untangling that shit." She said, letting her eyes drift closed as his narrowed at her words. She felt him shift his weight slightly, so she raised her head without thinking about it to let him move. She heard the couch creak as he sat up and then she heard the rustle as he shifted back some, then one of his hands lightly prodded her in the ribs.

A light growl rippled from Linnea's chest; she hated being poked at, and he knew it. Instantly Javier's touch gentled, and he carefully goaded her into rising to her feet. She opened her eyes and turned to glare at him right as his hands fell onto her shoulders. Her eyes widened when he jerked back sharply, yanking her right off her feet as a startled yelp left her chest.

Landing on her back with a thud, she twisted, attempting to roll back to her feet but he stopped her. Half-rolling on her side, she turned to snap at him, a snarl already curling at her jaws but she stopped instantly when she saw his face.

Javier had repositioned himself so that Linnea could lay down as well, her shoulders resting against his chest and her head set comfortably between his neck and shoulder. Her entire body was pocketed comfortably against his stocky, powerful frame, from her head to her feet. She squirmed slightly, a little uneasy with the ridiculously close proximity to him, but once he wrapped his powerful arms around her and rested his head against hers, she calmed.

They had slept like this before, she remembered, during a deployment many years before. They were out on a mission where they had no real support, stuck on a mountain in the middle of freaking nowhere…and a freak blizzard hit. Linnea and her team had locked themselves in their HMMVV, the truck's thick armor keeping them out of the wind as the heater kept them from freezing.

Javier, being a sniper, wasn't so lucky. He had all the cold weather gear he needed, but the storm was extremely bad, and she knew that if he stayed out there, he might not make it through the night. Linnea ended up jumping from the truck to search for her sniper in the storm, and once she found him, she all but dragged him back to the truck, forcing him into her seat before she got in behind him.

Linnea discovered the hard way that Javier was already doing bad, the cold wind having cut through him despite his many layers and chilled him badly. She ended up removing her armor, stripping all of her gear off down to her ACUs before she sprawled out on top of him, using her body heat to stabilize him and making him a little more comfortable. With the combination of her body heat and the truck's heater going full blast, Javier was resting easy within an hour. Linnea was going to move but on realizing he was asleep, she chose to stay so she didn't disturb him. They stayed that way the entire night.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Javier asked, his deep voice rumbling against Linnea's back as she closed her eyes and shifted slightly, settling herself a little more comfortably against him before she hummed softly to herself, then replied.

"The night I searched for you in a blizzard and made myself into a human blanket to warm you up after I found you and got you into my HMMVV." She replied, feeling the chuckle that emerged from his chest before she heard it.

"So was I. You risked a lot by doing that, but you had a good team, loyal soldiers that didn't judge you and that understood what you were doing. That and they liked me…I had saved your asses several times by that point in the deployment." He said, then grunted when her elbow dug into his ribs.

"Hey! What was that for?" Javier asked, his tone offended as she turned her head just enough to eye him.

"For your unbelievable arrogance." She deadpanned, barely able to keep from grinning at the light that entered his eyes.

"Aww, don't be like that, Lin. C'mon, you love me. I just know it." He said, hugging her just a little tighter and snuggling his cheek against her jaw. In spite of herself, a gentle smile crossed her face, and she pressed her cheek lightly against his.

"Yeah, I do, Javi. I do."

* * *

**A/N: Long time no update. Sorry about that, it was quite a busy week, and I was pretty tired for most of it. Yay for the first full week back from training! But good news, I'm off for the next week and a bit, so I should be able to write quite a bit. ^.^**

**phnxgrl: Thanks for the review! Yes, filler chappies are fun. I should be getting to 'the point' here in the next few chapters. :)**

**theicemenace: Yes indeed, some more than others. Just depends on the size of the box really. Thanks for the review! ^.^**

**To my readers, favoriters, and followers, thank you all for your readership! :)**

**As always, love if you will, hate if you must. I will take whatever you care to dispense.**

**Until we meet again...**

**Kani**


	6. Uninvited

Sometime awhile later, Linnea couldn't be sure how long, she snapped awake, her body relaxed but her mind alert as she slowly opened her eyes and looked around.

_What was that?_ She wondered, scanning the room critically before a slight movement beneath her made her tense and look down. Then she realized where she was.

_We must have fallen asleep…_ She thought, staring down at Javier with gentle eyes as he slumbered peacefully beneath her. Raising her head only slightly, she cracked her neck a little, wondering again what had woken her when a slight scratching sound reached her ears.

Instantly her eyes narrowed, and Linnea craned her head to stare at the door. The lighting was dim in the apartment, but she was still able to see something being pushed between the door and the frame. Feeling a snarl curling in her chest, she rolled, landing silently in a crouch as Javier slowly came back to the land of the conscious.

Linnea gently put a hand over his mouth, she met his gaze, putting a finger to her lips before jerking her head towards the door. She saw the recognition in the Hispanic detective's eyes and he nodded, then she let go. She rose to her feet, moving towards the door quietly as Javier got up and darted into another room.

_Retrieving a firearm or some other weapon, no doubt._ She thought, killing the lights in the kitchen and waiting for her eyes to adjust to the dark as the scratching continued. She heard the soft _click_ when the intruder was finally able to jimmy the door, and she crept forward, keeping behind the dividing wall as the door slid open.

Leaning against the wall, Linnea turned her head slightly, watching as someone entered cautiously before fumbling for something in one of his pockets. She knew the intruder was male, based on his size and the distinctly masculine scent that wafted her way. She curled her lip slightly as he pulled out a keychain, clicking a button and activating a red light so that he could see.

_Hmm. This bastard came prepared. No matter…I'll drop him before he even knows I'm here._ She thought, sliding backward a step before freezing in shock when she bumped into someone. Suppressing a gasp, she turned, intent on dispatching whoever was behind her when a gentle hand touched her face. She knew that touch.

_Javi. Didn't even realize he had come back._ She thought affectionately as she tapped him back, letting him know that she recognized him before turning back to study the intruder's progress. Her eyes widened in surprise when she realized he was nearly to her.

_Now or never._ Linnea moved like lightning; she was on him before he knew what was happening. A straight kick to the groin elicited an agonized moan, and as he dropped to his knees, she grabbed his head, bringing her knee up as she slammed his head down in the same motion. A satisfying _crack_ echoed through the air, and a second later, he was flat on his back and unconscious.

"Damn! Even I felt that one." Javier said from behind her as she hit the lights, blinking a couple times before heading for the door and nudging it shut with her foot gingerly, then she turned around to study the intruder. Blood covered his face, and Linnea knew without needing to look that she had broken his nose.

"Better call your buddies. They'll love hearing about this, I'm sure. You recognize him, Javi?" She asked, and she watched as he flipped out his cell phone and shook his head.

"Nope, but everyone on this floor knows I'm with the police. He's not from around here…I don't recognize him at all." He said, then turned his attention to the phone once his call was answered. Linnea tuned him out as she prowled through the apartment, checking to make sure nothing else was disturbed and that no other intruders had gotten in.

Thirty seconds later, she was satisfied, and she walked into the living room in time to catch the remainder of Javier's conversation.

"…jimmied the door and came right in. No, we're fine, he wasn't armed…huh? Oh, sorry, I had company over. Who? Linnea. Yeah. Linnea McFarland, my old Army friend. She came over for dinner…what? She did. Yeah. Kick to the balls and knee to the face. Put him out like a light. Yeah, yep. She's hand-to-hand trained. Yeah. A quarter of a century of military service and you're surprised? She was a top combat soldier her entire career. She don't play when someone's breaking and entering. Huh? No, we're fine. I already told you that. We're good, bro…she put him down before anything happened. Broke his nose…gonna need the EMTs to check him out. Probably has a decent concussion too, if the _crack_ when her knee connected with his face is any indication. Hey, I gotta go, the dude's waking up. Yeah. See you shortly." Javier snapped the phone shut, then leaned down and grabbed the groaning man by the front of his shirt before slamming him against the nearest wall. Linnea leaned against the counter and glared at him as his eyes snapped open and he gasped in surprise.

"Who are you? What the _hell_ are you doing in my apartment?" Javier snarled, one arm pressed against the man's neck as his eyes wandered randomly. Linnea could already tell that the detective was going to get nothing from the man, due to the look in his eyes.

"Javi, don't bother. Just secure him and dump him on the floor until the medics get here. Looks like I scrambled his brains pretty good." She growled, watching Javier tense slightly before he yanked the guy forward then shoved him into the living room. He went down in a heap as the detective left the room to get a pair of handcuffs, and she came forward like a tigress as the man watched her uneasily.

"Remember me? I'm the one that broke your nose, asshole." She snarled, watching as his eyes widened with fright, then Javier returned and kicked him in the ribs, forcing him onto his stomach before slapping a pair of handcuffs around his wrists. Rolling the man onto his back, the detective dragged him to the nearest wall and propped him against it, crouching down to stare into his eyes as Linnea prowled up behind him.

"Sit here, keep quiet, and don't piss me off, or I'll let her put you to sleep again." Javier snapped, then he rose to his feet and crossed the room with Linnea on his heels. They went far enough to still keep him in sight, then the detective leaned against a wall, his eyes suddenly tired as his shoulders dropped. Concerned, the retired soldier moved in front of him, his eyes going to hers as she stared at him.

"Javi?" She asked, her voice quiet and uneasy as he lowered his head and his eyes closed. She closed the remaining distance between them, reaching out to touch his chin and raise his head as his eyes opened to stare into hers again.

"Losing my touch. I didn't even wake up until you moved." Javier said softly, his mahogany eyes filled with uneasiness as he looked over her shoulder to stare at the man, who was still staring at them in fright.

"You felt safe, Javi. It is not an uncommon thing." Linnea said, her tone gentle but holding a very slight rebuke at his anger at himself.

"True, but what would have happened if you hadn't been here? I wouldn't have known the difference until it was too late." The detective said, then he jolted in shock at the sudden fire that filled her eyes and turned the gray to pure steel as lightning flashed through her gaze.

"Then I would come to you the moment I found out, and once I knew you were safe, I would have hunted him down, and seen to it that he paid for whatever he had done. I promise you that, Javi." Linnea growled, her eyes blazing with a near insane light that Javier remembered all too well.

_Yes…I believe you would have. You have before…just as I have for you. But what would you have done had he killed me?_ Javier couldn't help but wonder, but he didn't have the nerve to voice the words. He could only imagine her grief and her rage if someone were to kill him. And he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that there was nowhere on Earth that was safe from her wrath when someone she cared for was threatened.

_You would tear apart anyone and anything in your path to find the one responsible for such a crime. But at that point, it wouldn't matter anyway, because I would be dead._ His eyes were filled with sorrow as he stared at her, and he knew that Linnea saw it when she stepped forward to hug him gently, burying her face in his shoulder as he held her tightly, taking comfort in her presence as they waited for the 12th to arrive.

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**A/N: I see my plot bunnies were bored with the friendship shtoof...they decided an unexpected guest was the perfect little killjoy to toss in there. Little turds... -.-**

**Hmm. Wonder how everyone at the 12th will react to Linnea and Javi cuddling. XD I think that will be just a puddle of fun to write! ...tomorrow. LOL**

**phnxgrl: Thanks for the review! Hope you're enjoying the tale so far! :)**

**Thank you as always to my readers, reviewers, favoriters, and followers. Ya'll make a writer's world go 'round! :D**

**As always, love if you will, hate if you must. I will take anything that you care to dispense.**

**Until we meet again...**

**Kani**


	7. Suspicions

Javier and Linnea were on opposite ends of the apartment, the retired soldier talking to Kevin Ryan and giving her statement, and Javier talking to one of the beat cops. Then Kate Beckett stormed in, with Rick Castle right on her heels like some loyal lovestruck puppy.

"Ryan, what have we got?" Her voice was a near snarl, and she pointedly ignored Linnea as Kevin twisted to face her and scrambled to answer.

"Uh, perp isn't much help right now. Paramedics said he has a decent concussion to complement his shattered nose, and he's pretty freaked out. Mind's like box of mousetraps; everything's going off at once and he's got no clue what's going on. He got through the deadbolt using a uh, file. Metalworker's file, good quality but very common. Probably got him through the deadbolt in under a minute. Then all he had to do was pop the latch, and bingo! He's in." The detective's voice shook slightly but he only stumbled a couple times, yet he still trembled as Beckett's eyes narrowed dangerously. Then her gaze turned to Esposito, still across the room but watching her keenly.

"Esposito, why didn't you just go grab your gun and open the door? You had to have heard the file cutting through the deadbolt." Kate's entire focus was on the Hispanic detective, so she didn't see Linnea go tense where she was still standing next to Ryan before she slowly straightened. The retired soldier's gray eyes were narrowed and smoldering with fury as Javier fidgeted under his boss's stern gaze.

"I was asleep, Beckett. Hell, we both were. I didn't hear it, but Lin did. She woke up and realized something was wrong and she shook me awake, but he was already through the deadbolt and working the latch by that point. I went and got my sidearm and came back but Linnea had already closed on him. She had him down pretty quick." It was silent for a few seconds, then Kate snorted, slowly shaking her head but keeping her gaze on Javier. It was at that point that Linnea had had enough.

"Javi did nothing wrong, Detective Beckett. Why the contempt for him? Or is it that I am your target but you are focusing on him instead to punish me?" The retired soldier asked, her voice low but tight with anger as she slowly crossed the room. Beckett didn't hear her approach or she didn't care, not turning as she delivered a cutting response.

"I know Esposito didn't do anything wrong. I pride all my detectives on their ability to respond to the unexpected but that isn't what's bothering me here. Why did this break in occur now, of all times, when Esposito had company? Was it because of you?" A snarl crossed Linnea's face but Javier beat her to it, his dark eyes blazing as he stepped forward to face his boss angrily.

"Don't blame her for this, Beckett. This has all the markers of a random hit and you know it. She didn't recognize the slimeball either." Before Beckett could reply, Linnea had stepped in front of her and turned to face her, her gray eyes sparking as she glared at the female detective coldly.

"You don't like me. I get that. I don't understand why but I get it. But let me make this _very_ clear…anyone that threatens Javi threatens me. Anyone that tries to hurt him will have me to deal with as a consequence. And anyone that targets him will have to go through me first. He is one of my first and oldest friends, and I will sacrifice anything to keep him safe and in good health. So before you accuse _me_ of being the cause in this incident, I urge you to think this all through like a reasonable, responsible adult. Because the next time you accuse me of something, you'd better have real evidence to back it up. If there _is _a next time I will _not_ be so forgiving." With that said, Linnea turned, stalking out of the apartment with tension rippling through every muscle in her sleek, powerful frame. Javier went to follow but stopped when Beckett snapped at him.

"No, let her go storm around and cool off. Maybe it will help her attitude some. And you might want to tell that woman who it is she just threatened. That and it wouldn't hurt to tell her to rethink her viewpoint here. She's a visitor, _not_ a member of my team. I don't really give a damn what she thinks." Kate turned to say something to Ryan but halted in surprise when Javier's voice echoed from behind her, his voice so angry that she whirled to face him in shock at his tone.

"Lin's not the one who is wrong. She's not the one that is out of line. _You_ are. You just accused my _best_ friend of being the cause of this. She has good reason to be angry. And you're the one that needs to rethink your views here…she did nothing to be deserving of the treatment you have given her. There's nothing wrong with her attitude either. If anything she's being more understanding than she should be right now. She may be a visitor but she's _my_ friend. So treat her with some respect. I know damn well she's earned at least that much." With that said, Javier stormed out, with the eyes of every cop, detective, and tech in the room following him in mute shock. Castle watched him go with a curious eye, then followed discreetly. The writer's curiosity had been roused, and he was nothing if not unstoppable when he was looking for answers.

Javier burst out onto the street, his eyes searching the faces surrounding him as he tried to think.

_Where would I go if I were angry…_ He paused for a moment, then turned, searching the nearby storefronts. He relaxed when his eyes landed on her.

Linnea stood quietly, leaning her elbows on a newspaper dispenser as her gaze wandered, watching nothing in particular. Javier approached quietly, stopping at her side and letting his eyes wander as well as she studied him from the corner of her eye for just a moment before turning her attention back to the street.

"Sorry, Lin. Beckett's always had a chip on her shoulder. Long story as to why. But I kinda told her off…told her she was wrong about what happened and about you. She was pretty surprised. I normally don't back-talk at her like that." He chuckled softly, mindful of the tension still present in Linnea's powerful frame as the retired soldier sighed softly, then she spoke.

"I just don't understand what I did. It's like she's got some personal vendetta against me and I haven't done a damn thing to her. Makes no sense. Driving me crazy." She grumbled, lowering her head and snorting slightly as he leaned gently against her.

"Don't try and use logic on Beckett, Lin. She's not very logical most times. That's what Castle is for. For a writer, the guy's brilliant. Good deductive reasoning skills. Makes them a pretty good team actually…she's the fire, he's the ice. She's hot-headed and prone to jumping into stuff, he's pretty cool and collected. Mind you, he's done plenty of swan dives in his time with us. At the same time though, he's calmed her down a lot. They're…good for each other." He couldn't help but notice the smile that slowly crossed her face, and he smiled as well when she lowered her head a little more and chuckled deep in her chest.

"A lot like us. I was the lunatic intel sergeant that got herself in shit up to her ears, and you were the cold and detached sniper that dove right in and dragged me out of it. We were an amazing team in our time too…but all good things have to come to an end, eh? Just like me and the Army…had to end sometime. Now it's time I go home, back to my ranch and my horses…and maybe if I'm lucky…I'll find the peace I've spent the last twenty years fighting to find. Who knows? Anything is possible these days, eh Javi?" Even as she spoke, she saw the sorrow in his eyes. But what he was sad about, she couldn't be sure. All she could do was turn and nudge his shoulder with hers slightly in a silent reminder that she was there if he needed her.

Unbeknownst to the two, Castle was behind them, far enough back that he couldn't hear what they were saying but plenty close enough to watch how they interacted. And he couldn't help but take note of how Javier wrapped an arm around her to pull her into his side, lowering his head to press his cheek against hers as she stepped closer to him, relaxing against him. In his head, the writer was already weaving a story.

* * *

**A/N: Well, here's a dose of angst and bitchy people to ruin your day. I don't know why I'm writing Beckett as such a Linnea hater but I like how it's working so far. Maybe it's my subconscious writer's side, making Beckett into a sisterly watchdog for Esposito's well being or something. Hell, I dunno. Plot bunnies, how I despise you...**

**And Castle...roflmao. He's going to get in soooo much trouble here if he's not careful...XD**

**phnxgrl: Thank you! Needless to say if I woke up with some jerk breaking into my place, I'd deal with him the exact same way. :D**

**theicemenace: Oh I know. I'm terrible, aren't I? And it was random. And yes, Castle's starting to snoop around. Shenanigans to follow! :)**

**Thank you to my readers! You people are wonderful!**

**As always, love if you will, hate if you must. I will take anything that you care to dispense.**

**Until we meet again...**

**Kani**


	8. A Legend

The night was waning by the time Javier's apartment was empty and silent again. Linnea had refused to come back, citing that she would be too uneasy in the apartment after what had happened. Javier knew better; until Beckett was gone, the retired soldier was staying away.

Castle, after much arguing, had finally dragged Beckett away, but Linnea was long gone by then, leaving Javier alone in his apartment, which felt too big and too empty for some reason. With two cops stationed outside the door, Javier knew he was safe to get some sleep, but he spent an hour tossing and turning instead.

Resigning himself to a day from hell, the Hispanic detective got up, showering and getting dressed before heading to the 12th. He came off the elevator feeling oddly out of it, a condition which wasn't helped by the appearance of someone whose presence felt more like a brick to the face.

"Lanie." Javier greeted her, his voice a rough growl only accentuated by the fact that he had barely slept the night before.

"Esposito. So what's this I hear about a new girl in your life?" Realization hit the detective with the force of a freight train, and he gritted his teeth in helpless frustration.

_Now I get why Beckett's been such a bitch to Linnea._ He thought, leveling a glare that promised retribution in the darkest way at Beckett, where she sat smugly across the room. Turning his attention back to Lanie, Javier studied her for a brief moment before uttering his response.

"Lanie, she's an old Army friend. I've known her for…God. Years. More years than I care to count. She just retired actually…was in the city for some final retirement stuff. Stopped by to visit me before she goes home. I haven't seen her in something like five years. But go ahead, think whatever you like. I see Beckett has already made some serious assumptions about Linnea and me." He turned to walk to his desk but her voice stopped him.

"You sound like you miss her already." Javier couldn't help but turn back around, her tone having surprised him more than he cared to admit. Rather than sounding accusatory, like he expected, she sounded almost bewildered.

_She doesn't understand what it's like…_ He thought, resigning himself to giving her a long explanation that he hated giving.

"Lanie…you have to try and understand where I come from here. Linnea…she got hurt a lot even in the years I served with her. A couple times she nearly died. The fact that she even _made_ it to retirement astonishes me more than you could possibly understand. Her job was in a combat service support role, but she was right up in the blood and the mud with the rest of us more than she should have been. Every time she called me or emailed me to let me know she was deploying again, I wondered if she'd ever come back. She always found the chaos while she was deployed, always got mixed up in the battles that she should have been able to avoid. It was just who she was. She was one of those soldiers that was built for combat, and that lived for the rush of having bullets flying around you and bombs going off. The fact that she doesn't have some serious issues like I did still amazes me. But then again…she's always been resilient." Here he paused to shrug a shoulder, not realizing that most of the people on the floor were listening to him, even Captain Gates. He mused for just a moment longer before raising his eyes to the medical examiner's again.

"I dropped more men than I can count to keep her safe in the years I was her sniper. She took more abuse than she should have to justify some shots that I took, and she took a few bullets for me too. She even risked her life in a blizzard to find me once. The bond we have…I can't even begin to describe it. So before you jump to whatever conclusions you have drawn about us…just consider this. She's been my companion in mountains and deserts and jungles, through rain and snow and whatever else Mother Nature could drop on us. We slept side by side in the hottest and coldest places this planet has to offer, just to keep each other alive. I never touched her then, and she didn't touch me. What in the _hell_ makes you think that's the first thing we did when she came to visit me last night? You're fools. Every single one of you." Javier's voice was a grating snarl by the end, and he cast blazing eyes over everyone in the room but let his gaze linger on Beckett, who sat white faced with downcast eyes at her desk. Then he left, heading for the nearest coffee machine.

The silence that followed was profound, then surprisingly, Lanie turned her gaze to where Kate Beckett still sat silently, and she spoke.

"We deserved that. All of us did, because I know the second I heard that he had a female guest over last night during that break-in, that was my first assumption. And now I feel quite foolish. Especially considering everything I heard about that woman. Made me pretty angry actually, thinking that she had just walked in and he had swooned over her. Who knew they had that kind of history?" Most of those souls present in the room had lowered their eyes shamefully, but not Ryan. Not Beckett. Not Castle. The writer was actually the next to speak, his deep voice quiet and filled with wonder.

"Actually, I did. Not specifically what they've been through together, but I knew a little about that soldier, Linnea McFarland. After the first day she came in, I did some research on her. She's not just famous, she's a bloody legend. She was on the ground during some of the bloodiest days in Iraq and Afghanistan both, and she was awarded a Bronze Star for valor for her action during the Battle of Terror Pass. Some of you might recognize that name…it was hands-down one of the deadliest days in recent history for U.S. forces after the wars in Africa broke out. She has multiple Purple Heart awards, for injuries ranging from bullets to knives to shrapnel. She was even on a helicopter that crashed, and she survived. That woman is a legend, and for good reason. I think I understand what Esposito meant when he said he was surprised she survived to retire…after reading through her biography, honestly, so am I." Unnoticed by those present, Javier had returned with his coffee, listening quietly to what Castle had to say.

_There was a reason that 'Never Stay Down' became her battle cry, because she never stopped charging. Through bullets, bombs, fire, shrapnel, everything. She never stopped._ He thought, his mind turning to more memories of his time as a sniper as the office slowly got back on track.

Kevin Ryan spotted him and started to approach but decided against it when he saw the misty look in his partner's eyes. He looked over, noting that Castle was staring at Javier too, then the writer looked over and his eyes met those of the other detective. They shared a nod, both understanding that Javier was in his own world and that it was better that he stayed there for the moment. His attention wasn't needed on any cases yet anyway. So for the moment, the writer and the Irish detective left their friend to the peace of his memories.

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**A/N: And this is why gossip is very, very bad. About half the time, it's wrong. Like terribly wrong and it will screw up all kinds of stuff. And a big THANK YOU to phnxgrl for giving me the great idea with Lanie! Actually when I thought about it, Lanie being the reason behind Beckett's nasty treatment of Linnea was a spectacular explanation! Hope you don't mind that I used that angle, it was so awesome that I just couldn't pass it up! ^.^**

**theicemenace: Well snap, thought I mentioned it earlier but since this is a rewrite, Battle Song is now being based on the current storyline in Castle. So Beckett and Castle are a thing, Lanie and Esposito aren't together, and Ryan's just kinda off in the middle somewhere at the precinct. Did he get married sometime when I wasn't watching the show? If so, whatever Ryan's relationship status is in the most current episodes, that goes for here too! So the 'current' relationship dynamics in the show are (hopefully) the same as in Battle Song.**

**To my readers and followers, thank you for tagging along for the ride! :)**

**And guess what? Once my current writing projects are finished, I'm leaving it up to YOU, dear readers, to decide on what I should focus on next in my stories! I have a poll up on my profile with several options, based on some stuff I have simmering on the back burner in my head and on my hard drives. Got a suggestion for me that isn't included in the list? Shoot me a PM, and I'll give it some thought. And who knows? Maybe I'll add it as a choice in the poll! Just understand that if I don't get much feedback on the poll, I'll make a decision on the next story. So make sure to vote and/or leave feedback for me to mull over! ^.^**

**As always, love if you will, hate if you must. I will take anything that you care to dispense.**

**Until we meet again...**

**Kani**


	9. At A Crossroad

Javier had gone through most of the day in a fog, most of his time spent catching up on paperwork or doing research into some of the more recent case files. He worked diligently but his mind was elsewhere, and his entire team knew it.

For the first time, he was grateful to Castle; every time Kate got near him, her eyes burning with questions, the big writer would head her off, peppering her with questions, comments, or random observations until Javi could clear the immediate area. Ryan covered for him several times as well with Gates, citing the Hispanic detective's mind-numbing work as being an integral effort to whatever case they were currently spear-heading. He had no idea what kind deity had given him such good and loyal friends, but he silently thanked the heavens every time they covered for him.

Finally it was time to call it a day, and Javier had never been more grateful. He was out the door so fast that he nearly left a trail of dust in his wake. As he went, somewhere deep in his mind he wondered why it was he was in such a hurry to go home. _Not like there's anyone waiting for me there,_ he thought dismally.

But then it hit him…and it was enough to bring him to an abrupt halt when the realization fully sank in. Somewhere in his heart, hope was burning bright, that _she_ would be there waiting when he got home. In his mind's eye he saw her, all those years ago, waiting quietly at the door as he talked to his commander and made his decision known. He was leaving the Army and that was that.

She had waited loyally for him then, even when his decision had shattered her heart. Now _his_ heart was the one at stake, and it was thundering in his chest, filling him with the hope that she would be waiting for him now. With that single thought burning in his mind, he started moving again, even more determined to get back to his apartment sooner rather than later.

When he reached his door, he was surprised to see that the latch, deadbolt, and the doorframe had all been repaired. _Hmm. The landlord sure moved fast,_ he thought, nodding to the officer quietly standing next to the door before the man handed him his new keys silently. They exchanged a few quiet words, then Javier dismissed him, watching the beat cop go about his business for a moment before inserting his new keys into the door and unlocking it.

He walked through the door, his eyes scanning swiftly over the area in the vain hope that she would be standing there, then he felt his heart sink when he saw no one. Turning and closing the door with a deep sigh, he locked and bolted it, taking two steps into the room before something made him stop. Slowly, he turned, letting his gaze scan the room again, only more carefully this time. Then he saw her.

She was sitting in the window seat that he had installed, her gray eyes watching the sun slowly set in the distance. Her powerful back was pressed against the wall, one of her legs stretched fully out while the other was bent at the knee. The elbow of the arm nearest to Javier was resting comfortably on her raised knee, and her entire posture was relaxed and her facial expression was calm and thoughtful.

"I didn't…think you were coming back." Javier finally said, cautiously taking a couple steps closer to her as Linnea's head turned ever so slightly towards him. Her eyes lost focus as she pondered over something, then her gaze sharpened again and she spoke.

"My sudden departure had nothing to do with you, Javi. It was a regrettable yet necessary action or I might have done something to that…woman." He heard the pause as she substituted a different word as a descriptor for Beckett. His sigh was so deep that Linnea couldn't help but turn her head to look fully at him, then he closed the distance between them and sat gently on the opposite end of the window seat. They sat staring at one another, glowing gray to sorrowful mahogany, before Javier spoke.

"I never realized just how much I hurt you when I walked away, all those years ago. Now the fates have seen fit to turn the tables, and I stand to lose just as much as you did. And if what I'm feeling now is any indicator to how you felt then, then I am truly sorry." Her eyes had narrowed at the sudden change in topics, but she studied him silently as he spoke, her eyes giving nothing away. He flinched visibly when she looked away, her gaze roaming back to the setting sun as she considered his words.

As the silence grew between them, Javier started to panic a little, his conscience warring with his heart as he silently berated himself, wondering why he had to poke at an old wound like a bloody fool. It had been _years_ since that day, but still. Did she really need the reminder that he had left her behind? He cursed himself for a fool. If she were to leave him behind as well, then hell. He absolutely deserved it.

Finally her gaze found his again, and he was aware of his thundering heartbeat, his heart pounding against his ribs so hard that he was sure the bones would break under the strain. Linnea's eyes gave nothing away as she stared at him, and he felt his hope starting to crumble under her gaze.

"It hurt, yes, but I understood why you left. I understood you were leaving the Army, not me. And I forgave you, even though it didn't help with the hurt. You did what you wanted to do with your life, and I understood that too. Life is strange that way; it puts so many people on the journey with us, and then it takes them away. We break at the loss, then we come back stronger. It's just the way it is. You moved on and I broke, but I came back from it. Now the fates have seen fit to put us at this crossroad again. And I have made my decision, just as you did back then. The only difference now is that you have a choice in whether you want to stay or follow. I didn't have that luxury." Her words hurt, but they brought comfort as well. Javier had always known that Linnea was unusually understanding when it came to most matters. It came as no surprise that she had understood his actions without needing an explanation.

"So you have decided where you're going?" Javier had to know, had to hear the words before he said anything further. He waited with bated breath, looking into her eyes and knowing that she held the power to shatter his heart or make it sing, all with one little sentence.

"Yes, I have."

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**A/N: So. Been awhile. Been focused on Always There, when the muse was with me, and on poetry and everything else I have running in the background when the muse is on vacation. The muse took an extended vacation, by the way. This just came to me after a long night on guard duty. So yay for sleep deprivation!**

**This one is a little emotional, wee bit angsty, but I wanted the focus back on Javi and Linnea. I do enjoy how this one came out too.**

**To my dear readers, reviewers, favoriters, and followers, thank you as always for your continued patience with the story and my schedule! I'm hoping to get the muse back soon.**

**As always, love if you will, hate if you must. I will take anything that you care to dispense.**

**Until we meet again...**

**Kani**


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